Where were you last Easter? Sometimes its hard enough to remember what happened yesterday let alone a whole year ago. However, thank the good Lord for photographs. Our first Easter with Rashidah was spent together at home we played in bed and watched our 9 month baby grab and tear at the easter basket her grandmother had gotten her. If I could recall correctly she opened her Easter basket the night before and then Sunday morning we got ready and went to Church...Rashidah even joined the choir. This Easter was not quite like that. When I woke up this morning, I knew what I needed to do, after all I had obligations....turning my kitchen upside down to do so. I had almost forgotten the events of the past night... although I would have loved to. I mean, living a sweet fantasy that everything is good does seem better than enduring the harsh reality that it isn't. Don't you think.
Just when I thought that perhaps getting out of bed was a bad idea, I couldn't help being snapped back to reality that there is someone young and innocent that is craving attention. Her little crys go unheard within the bedroom inwhich she was sleeping. The sadness that she felt of being in solitude even though she was not alone in there, was evident in her sobs. "Not yet" I thought "I'm almost finished." I had just enough time to finish up, wash my hands and go to get her, what I didn't have time for was our normal morning ritual (crawling back in bed with her and cuddle with her until she is satisfied that she is fully awake and her morning tears turn to sweet smiles and giggles) no, not today, I know it's a special day. But I can't and this is much to her dismay. One, last nagging request and her diaper is changed.
Rashidah is a small thing and only 20 months old but she is so determined. Spoiled if you may because she is use to getting her way. Fine, you don't want to put on your close, so be it. In diapers alone, we hurry out the front door, with our cargo to deliver, and her special treats to get hidden.
Rashidah's first Easter Egg Hunt. Weeks ago we prepared for this, scattering eggs in the living room chanting "Hurry Rashidah, find the eggs and put them in your basket." She is a smart one, because no sooner did she find the first one that she knew what she was to do. But that was weeks ago, would she remember that she's is to find the egg and put it in her basket? What a silly question, after the Easter Bunny scattered the eggs all over her grand parents yard, she was set free to go find the lovely presents. "Mo, mo" she begged as she picked up one precious egg at a time, looking and looking to see if more can be found. What a shame it was only her and I, yet what a small blessing to my heart to give her such joy. If I could have only held it in, things would have been different.
As I stood there taking photos of her and hinting where others may be, I couldn't help but think how fast time goes. How big she seems, yet how so very small. This Easter she went to church with her grandparents...and again they said she went up with the choir...
Her sweet little smile touches my heart in a way I can not discribe. All I can do is thank God above, for allowing me to spend this time with her. I know that the world still turns even after my own world seems to have suffered yet another earthquake. The reality is everyone will get out of it alive and well...how well? That is yet to be seen.
6 comments:
Most touching. I admire you (and women in general). People like you represent the hope in this world. You make me realize how low and lost men can get. We're/I'm lost and confused in this world of 'manlyness'. We don't appreciate.
While I'm here all asleep, someone awakens with a vision, a vision to accomplish, to do much for, to protect, to care, to love, to watch blossom the most precious thing. I awake with none in mind, no affection for another.
People like you make me feel comfortable in this world. Reminds me that there are better days, better things and a reason to be.
It's a shame that by tomorrow I'll have forgotten the feeling I have as I comment on your blog.
Keep on showing us the way.
Eliane Sutherland once told me that men catch visions and women run with visions and make them happen. That is something I am still learning to do.
For myself, if I didn't have my goals or visions plastered on my heart to tightly, I would be victum to saying in bed all day. Sometimes I still want to do it. Mom is the one that keeps me going, because I know my future will effect her too. I admire the love and dedication with which you service your family. Rashidah is going to grow up to be a wonderfull person because of your drive in hope and faith of tomorrow. I didn't have that as a child, and I am going through a whole process of lessons to learn to hope. Thank you for being hopeful. It gives me hope too.
(Last year for Easter I was in Gautemala City visiting my brother. It was my first time there, and I had a blast. I lost my job that weekend because my boss didn't understand my plans to go away, but it was worth it!)
Please do not admire me. I am no one special, except in God's eyes and perhaps in my mommy's and daddy’s and maybe I'd feel that way if I got to ride in the special bus...
There are good men in this world, but even good men get distracted. Women aren't perfect either...I can name a few that have made me feel the need to apologize on behalf of all womankind.
I guess you can say it's nature's way of reminding us that we are alive and that we have choices.
Distractions and temptations are real. They are all around us, in many, many forms. If we allow them to do what they are meant to do, they will keep us from doing what we need to do. They will keep us from doing our best for ourselves and giving our best self to the ones that we love and to those that love us more than we could ever imagine.
We aren't the first persons to go though life with heartache and we won't be the last. Life has its ups and downs, some of which we have no control over. But if we can stop it from happening, do it. If all that we can do is pick up the pieces then take up your broom and dustpan and know that you aren't alone in this world. You are never alone unless you want to or need to be but even so, you aren't. Pick up those pieces and think and pray the choice is yours now. Do you throw them out or crazy glue them together?
Call me crazy but I chose the glue.
The cracks add an interesting, thought provoking, artistic taste to it anyway.
I agree!
"I got this crack back when...
Oh, this one, I got it that time...
And after so and so...
Boy did I learn my lesson!"
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